2022: Creating my own New York Moments
At the end of last year, I expected growth and transitions in career and personal life, and those came to fruition with a bang.
I did also start a new job, but this year was defined by my move to New York City, where I spent the last nine months of 2022.
I didn’t move across the country to the big city to find myself. I went to explore and tap into a part of me that had been dormant for awhile: starting from (almost) scratch and learning how to live in a new place again. And that I did. I experienced many firsts: hauling my laundry to a laundromat, learning a subway map and taking the train on a frequent basis, and just living through the daily ups and downs in a real “big city” city. I had to put myself out there in new social circles and make new friends.
There’s something just very “in your face” about New York. I always felt this when I rode in a packed subway train, standing shoulder to shoulder with a bunch of other people from different walks of life. You can’t hide from it. There’s a grittiness to it and for better or for worse, a sense that we’ll all get through this (life) together. In a way, that was both inspiring and comforting.
But what I loved most about New York was the energy and that the potential of each day was so big and wide and new. It was the mecca of spontaneity. I could step outside of my apartment in the morning, just keep saying yes and seeing where that would take me.
I had days where I started out with one group of friends, was introduced to friends of friends, and then ended up taking in a completely new experience with them. I bumped into an F1 driver while on a date. I spontaneously played drinking games off a random bench we found on the street in a bachelorette party while waiting in line for pizza.
I had nights where I’ve kept the party going until the sun came up again. I met someone who had a single brother with my name and a mom with my mom’s name (what are the odds??). And on my last night, I went out with friends on a Monday night, to a Christmas bar, a Bay Area bar, and capped it off with a competitive game of shuffleboard to gift away my plant.
These were some of my New York moments.
I’m a natural planner, but I hope I can take some of that spontaneity of New York with me. And who knows, maybe I’ll end up back there soon again.
I’m writing all of this out while on a plane to New Zealand to celebrate a good friend’s wedding. It feels a bit weird that, through the magic of a long flight and time zones, I will have departed on December 30, 2022 and will land on January 1, 2023. I’ll be missing the symbolic New Year’s Eve celebration, but nowadays the years feel like they fly by faster and faster…
Looking ahead to 2023, I’m hopeful to find two things: a place of my own and love (again).
I’ve been in a little bit of a lull in progressing towards my goal of visiting all 50 states, but was recently inspired by a friend to pick it up again. While I’m out here living in the Northeast, I figured I might as well hit up the states nearby, so over the last couple months, I’ve gone on a few weekend road trips to do just that.
During Labor Day weekend, one of my friends was in Baltimore, Maryland for work so I met up with her to explore. The transportation was a little different this trip as I took a bus on the way there and a train on the way back through Delaware.
Most of what I knew about Baltimore was from watching The Wire (an all-time great show btw). I was able to check another baseball stadium off my list by watching the Baltimore Orioles at Camden Yards. It was a fun atmosphere with the team finally back in playoff contention. I had the best crab cakes I’ve ever eaten at Faidley’s in Lexington Market. Half of the stalls in the market were vacant though and felt like a sad sign of where the city had fallen. Baltimore seemed like a city that was once bustling in it’s heyday but was now on the downswing. It reminded me of Detroit, with a downtown area that felt a little deserted and neglected. I hope it’s make it’s recovery someday.
After Baltimore, I hopped on an Amtrak train to Delaware (our nation’s first state!). Riding Amtrak was super smooth and convenient, made me wish that we had better train systems throughout the country. I arrived in Wilmington, Delaware and spent a day exploring President Biden’s hometown. There were a lot of interesting historical buildings downtown, including the old public library. It was definitely small town and I wished they had rental bikes to more easily explore. Instead I had to use my feet and walked the greenway all along the Brandywine Creek and visited their art museum.
Maryland and Delaware were states 45 and 46!
The next weekend, I decided to do a solo road trip through Vermont and Maine. The Fall foliage in the Northeast is something else and I was in awe surrounded by beautiful vibrant colors the entire drive. Along the way, I stopped in Hartford, Connecticut for some pizza and a walk through Bushnell Park. After that, I made a pit stop in Springfield Massachusetts to check out the Springfield Armory, a now historical site where lots of guns were produced for wars in the past. I made it into Brattleboro, Vermont in the late afternoon and got to enjoy a beer while watching a gorgeous sunset on the river. My last stop of the day was at my hotel in Keene, New Hampshire. It’s kind of crazy that I stepped foot in 5 states in the span of 10 hours. There’s so many states so close to each other up here!
I continued my trip to Portland, Maine, where I visited the Allagash Brewery, which produces one of my favorite beers, and indulged in lobster rolls. The Old Port District was cute with shops and restaurants between cobblestone and brick streets. Fun fact: Portland, Oregon was named after Portland, Maine. As I traveled South along the coast, I stopped by three lighthouses (Bug Light, Portland Head Light, Nubble Lighthouse), which were pretty picturesque when it wasn’t too foggy. They each had their own unique designs.
Vermont and Maine were states 47 and 48!
My last mini road trip was to Harper’s Ferry, West Virginia. I did the Diamond Heights hike up a mountain and took in the sunset overlooking the city where the Potomac and Shenandoah Rivers meet. I caught the tail end of Fall foliage and it made for a beautiful backdrop as fallen leaves littered the hiking trail.
On the second day of the trip, I swung by Shenandoah National Park in Virginia. It was extremely foggy and misty all morning, which made for nonexistent overlooks and some spooky looking trails. Despite the weather, I was able to hike two trails: The first was the Compton Peak trail which led me to a unique set of rock formations. The second was to Dark Hollow Falls, a really cool multi-leveled waterfall.
West Virginia was state 49! Only one left to go…
Last weekend, I had the honor of being the best man at my best friend’s wedding. The couple actually got officially married two years ago (such is pandemic life), but this was the real party.
The last of my best man duties was to give a speech at the reception and not going to lie, I was definitely a little anxious in the days leading up to it. I had known this day was coming for two years (hah), and every now and then I would jot down some notes. But I didn’t really piece stuff together until my long flight back home and then edited and rewrote a bunch of times in the few days leading up to the big day.
I had been to enough weddings to know what I needed to do, but it was surprisingly hard to write out. First, it was crazy to think that V and I have been friends for almost 15 years. So much has happened between us that it was hard to pick out which stories I wanted to tell. And for the most part, I retained the memorable feelings from all that time together rather than the specific details of those many moments.
But I eventually figured out a good flow for the speech and rehearsed 5-10 times and felt ready.
Come wedding day, I had a few drinks after the ceremony during cocktail hour to loosen up and the rest was kind of a blur. Before I knew it, I was up at the front with the mic and a glass of champagne.
Nerves aside, I took a risk and went without notes because when was I ever going to get to chance to do this again, talking about two of the best people I know in front of two hundred family and friends… probably never. And hey, if I lost my place, I wouldn’t have a problem ad libbing and just talking about my best friend. This was speech topic I knew really, really well.
I had intended to lean more humor in my speech, but I felt quite sentimental writing it and delivering it. Fortunately, I think most of my jokes landed and it went off without a hitch. Certainly helped that I had a lot of friends cheer me on all through out.
Walked back to my table to cheers of “Stan-ley! Stan-ley!” where a glass of Henessey awaited my arrival. Felt a weight off my shoulders and got to enjoy what was one of the greatest parties I’ve ever been a part of. There’s nothing quite like seeing your best friend get married and then being able to celebrate.
Looking back, I was honestly so happy to get the chance to give the best man speech and get to play a role in the festivities. V, hope you’re ready to give a speech in the future.
I needed a jolt to my life so I decided to move to New York.
I had been considering it for a while and finally stopped with the excuses and did it last week!
It’s definitely provided the jolt that I was looking for so far. I’ve actually never lived in a big city before (not even San Francisco), so I’m taking it all in and enjoying the good and the challenging.
Not looking forward to having to go to a laundromat to do laundry, but there’s an energy here that’s hard to ignore.
Walking around, it feels like the center of the universe, where there’s so many people around and so many things going on, but no one gives a shit about you.
It can be easy to feel lost in it all.
It’s such a jarring juxtaposition that I didn’t feel when I’ve visited in the past. It’s exciting, scary, and dreamy all wrapped up in one.
I watched the movie Everything Everywhere All at Once yesterday (would highly recommend btw) and it really resonated with me how every decision could’ve led to a completely different path in life, which can be overwhelming to think about and lead to regrets about missed opportunities, but through it all, a constant we can control is to be kind, and love.
A decision on business school could’ve brought me to New York three years ago, but I chose a different path, and well here I am now: ready to experience what this city has in store for me, with open eyes and an open heart.
Just needed a little jolt to remind me of some of the reasons why life is so amazing.
My prediction for my 2021 ended up pretty on the dot.
This year has been about re-finding myself and rediscovering my interests, hobbies, and things that I like. And also a state of mind: that bullshit, my bullshit. I was back on it.
This is the top definition for that phrase on urban dictionary:
…that’s pretty true to how I’ve been for the most part.
I think a lot of this year’s rediscovering came as a result of the end of a long-term relationship. For better or for worse, I just sort of fell into a familiar routine and some of what I liked kind of fell to the wayside. There was someone else important to consider and I didn’t prioritize myself as much.
This is probably quite common and expected with long-term partners. I cherished that time and I grew a lot and learned a lot, but I think I also lost a bit of me.
Which led to getting back to myself this year.
One part of it was me taking action and doing things on my own or planning out trips that I wanted to go on. The other part was just saying “yes” to everything my friends invited me to.
I visited a bunch of national parks and did a lot of hiking, went on some great group trips, learned how to play the ukulele, was a gameshow contestant, did some gardening, and overall became more confident in who I am as a person.
Finding a healthy headspace was definitely harder with trying to adjust to everything going on in the world and also seeing friends move onto other life stages (more of my close friends getting engaged or married and my best friend having a baby).
Going into the next year, I hope I remember where I am today, what’s brought me here, and why it’s made me happy. Obviously, there’s more to live and to learn, but I’ll stay true.
For 2022, I’m looking forward to further growth and transitions in career and personal life.