2018: Searching For Myself
Last year‘s fight of good versus evil in America rages on. With all of the xenophobia, racism, and gaslighting, this year has been draining. It’ll be interesting to see what happens in the White House in the coming year and what will trickle down into society as a result.
This year, I feel like I’ve been fighting myself as well. It has been a year of ups and downs, and overall, just trying to find myself and figure things out.
I turned 29 in the summer and began the last year of my 20s. Time has flown by and sometimes it’s hard to not feel like it’s passing me by.
Ten years ago, I couldn’t have predicted this is where I would be. I would’ve never guessed I’d live in Wisconsin for a third of that period, or that a majority of my jobs would take me all over the country for work. I’ve learned so much and grown so much during that time.
But right now, I’m not quite sure where I want to go next. A part of me wants to find a well-paying job and settle down in the Bay Area. A part of me is excited to maybe live somewhere else for a few years. A part of me wants to go off the grid and explore the world.
Many people probably face these sorts of mid-career crises, so I shouldn’t feel alone. I did try some different things. I pursued some jobs that seemed interesting, but for whatever reason didn’t work out. I was accepted to Columbia Business School and turned them down.
I’ve been excited and I’ve been deflated.
I think mostly, I’ve just felt uninspired. As someone who has always looked at life glass half full, this has been the hardest part. The not knowing and feeling behind, as more and more friends are getting engaged/married or finding great jobs and moving on.
But reflecting on it more, I’m grateful to have these life choices. I need to remind myself that life moves at different paces and things will work out in the end.
So 2019, I’m ready for you. Here’s to continuing chasing those dreams and maybe, just maybe, finally catching them.
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